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Is seeking a regular dating site
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I know they “re-branded” and all that but in the end how can a site where majorly of the dudes are above 55 and married and where there is a significantly proportion of escorts be a regular dating site. If that is how regular dating is going to work we are in deep dark ages for sure.
Top Comment: I think this really breaks down to multiple questions: How many of you believe Seeking's outward marketing that it's a dating site, versus keeping themselves covered due to US laws? Regardless of your answer in #1, do you believe Seeking is still a place you can find an SR? If you answered "Yes" for question #2, do you believe Seeking is still the BEST place to find an SR? My answers: Seeking's outward marketing is for US law compliance purposes only. Seeking is still a place you can find an SR, it's just more difficult than it was, say, 5 years ago. In addition, Seeking remains by far the most common way people find SRs, so no matter how deep in denial you are about Seeking being a dating site or other sugar sites being better, it's still the place to go. Even though I hate it.
Has anyone used “seeking arrangements” website?
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Hear me out... i am a late 40’s female. I have been divorced for like 8 years now but still have school-aged kids that I am shuttling to and from activities everyday after school. I work full-time, own my own home, have a dog and elderly parents that I also help out in the area. Kids are with me about 95% of the time but do sleepover at dads for a night every other week. I also travel for work and have wonderful friends.
But... I would like someone to date or see when I can. Maybe have something physical if we are a good enough fit. Someone that is not one of my female friends that can have real conversations with me. I don’t go on the apps because everyone was either, “let’s hop in bed,” or “you don’t have enough for me.”
So, I was thinking maybe that’s the app I need? So I can find someone to take me to a nice dinner and relax with on those nights kids aren’t home? Maybe drop a text here and there, but nothing that is going to be too heavy/needy? Thoughts?
Top Comment: A friend of mine is on SA. Everyone there is definitely in the "let's hop into bed" category, as well as many/most of them being married. They aren't compensating for your time because they want a relaxing dinner. It's all about the opportunity to have sex with someone who is better looking than they might attract based on their looks and personality alone. Unless you are saying that you are the one willing to provide compensation for the company you seek? In which case by all means, there are probably plenty of guys willing to be charming while fully clothed for a reasonable fee, or maybe even just for the free meal
What the HELL happened to seeking?
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Seems like there is 95% less women on it.
Paid for a month membership once in 2015, then again in 2017. Live in a smaller/decent size city, age 18-26, filter last login in the past month, distance 40 miles. Back then there was ~800 women, and quite a few 10s.
Made a new account today after years for a relationship. Same search, now only 47 women logged in the past month and no 10s.
Did I miss something?
I get onlyfans is a thing now, but I doubt all ~750 of those girls are on onlyfans and making bank.
My guess is instagram. I think if you are half way decent looking, you are probably flooded with DMs.
Top Comment: Many of the SB have left because seeking is turning into a vanilla dating site and banning accounts that are sugar accounts. You basically have to be sneaky about how you word your account or you will be banned.
Seeking 2017 vs 2024
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When I first joined Seeking Arrangements in 2017, it was easy to connect with women who were intelligent, driven and absolutely gorgeous. I went out on a few first meetings and finally met someone I wanted to spend my free time with. We were together for nearly 3 years, initially starting with a SB/SD relationship, but moving into a more traditional relationship that only ended because I moved away. I paid for her to finish her degree, while she helped me work through a massive career change, and she was heartbroken when I told her I was moving. We both knew it was only temporary, but it was still bittersweet nonetheless.
Flash forward to 2024, and I'm back on Seeking trying to find another great connection. I reactivated my account and within 24 hours I had hundreds of profile views and countless messages from women wanting to connect. However, the difference between 2017 and 2024 was unbelievable. The messages mostly consisted of women only wanting to know what I could offer them without any amount of conversation. A few of them asked what my fantasies were, and if they could be the ones to fulfill them, or another flat out told me she was available immediately for a discreet, sensual afternoon. I actually adjusted my net worth and annual salary numbers lower to see if I could curb the amount of messages I received, but it didn't seem to change anything.
I waded through the received messages, did my own searches through the countless profiles in my area, and finally found five women I would be interested in possibly meeting. I had conversations with each of the women and felt good with all but one. Further discussions and one completely ghosted after we exchanged numbers, and another ghosted after a couple text messages back and forth. Planned to meet up with two of the women, and one said she wanted to do something more casual than dinner and drinks, so she offered to come over to my place to give me an idea of what she can offer. The last one actually recommended a restaurant she'd like to try, gave me days and times she'd be available, and we plan to meet tomorrow evening.
It seems like Seeking has turned into a marketplace for sex workers, and unfortunately, I feel like it has lost its allure because of it. Any other SDs on Seeking feel the same way, or is it just more prevalent in my area?
Top Comment: Unfortunately, it goes both ways. My messages have started with "Soo how kinky are you?" more times than I can count 😂
are there even real daddies on seeking anymore !?
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I’m just going to say it: I’m sick of the games on Seeking. What used to be a platform for genuine arrangements has turned into a circus of low-effort, broke guys who think “being generous” means liking three photos and asking for free content.
I’m not here for your “let’s meet and see where it goes” nonsense. This is not Tinder. If you can’t even discuss an allowance without getting weird or ghosting, what are you even doing here? Real daddies don’t dodge the money conversation. Real daddies don’t expect intimacy first and “maybe” support later. That’s called being delusional, not dominant.
And can we talk about the ones with empty profiles and one blurry car photo? Sir, if you’re a “high-value man,” maybe act like it. If your first message is “hey sexy,” I can already tell your idea of a sugar relationship is just a hookup you don’t want to pay for.
There ARE real ones out there — I know, I’ve met a couple in the past — but they’re getting drowned out by this wave of wannabes. It’s exhausting trying to sort through the garbage just to find someone who understands what this dynamic is actually about.
Top Comment: I would suggest taking a break so you can return with a positive mindset. I’ve had a previous SD (70m) discuss allowance before meeting but he was on a month long trip and I was willing to wait. My current SD didn’t discuss anything sugar prior to meeting. I don’t bring it up either. We had a great meet and greet and as he was walking me to my car he brought up allowance. A good indication for me is how soon and where they want to meet. Discussion will move particularly quickly to a first date/meet if they’re serious
Seeking = normal dating site?
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SB here. I’ve been noticing more and more that men on seeking aren’t actually looking to be SD’s. Some are looking to cheat sure, but quite a few are just looking to date younger - and they consider men paying for everything (nothing extravagant, just typical date costs) to be the same as sugar. Has anyone else noticed this? I find it frustrating
Top Comment: Lots of older men want to date hot young women, but most don't have the disposable income to afford a real sugar relationship
My experience on Seeking.com
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I first heard about SA via a co-worker. She swore that a much older guy took her out for couple nice dinners and gave her money when she needed, but they never had sex. She suggested me to try it. So, I opened up a profile on SA without really knowing what to expect. I even started my About Me section with something like “my friend told me about this site, so I am giving it a try”. That was the perfect statement to attract scammers and users lol.
The first two guys I dated advantage of my naivety. I did not know how to approach the allowance subject and I did not want to sound like a prostitute. I met the first guy once, and the second guy twice. They did not pay for anything.
The third guy was my golden egg hen. I was not expecting neither did I asked for the amount of money he gave me, but in the period of two months he contributed a lot to my bank account. He gave me a really good amount of money. The guy was 63 years old and although I did not care much about the first time, the second time we had sex it was like torture. I met him only twice and then he disappeared. It was a relieve when he vanished because I do not think I would be able to walk away from the money.
There was another guy that I met twice, he gave me the ppm each time we met, but after two dates he disappeared for some time. Reappears out of nowhere, telling me how horny he was and this and that. I ended up deleting his contact and blocking him. I have a full-time job and really did not have time for his horny fantasies.
From the last two guys that I had a date with...
This guy I met once, he gave the allowance and everything but the following week after being with him he had a trip. Before leaving to his trip, he asked me if we could meet early in the morning before I had to leave to go to work. I usually wake up 5 am to have things done before going to the office, so that would be OK. The guy never shows up. When he returns from his trip, he said he was sick and wanted to stop by for 10 min for a hug, this was a Friday. I declined because I did not want to get sick, and I told him I could see him on Sunday. Then, the guy starts asking me how many men I have seen since him. He started sending me messages to check what I was doing, where and when. I ended up blocking him and deleting his contact. Lesson learned: Get rid of toxic people ASAP. I should have gotten rid of him since the first time he did not show up for the early morning date.
The last guy I met; we had a first M&G in a restaurant. Before meeting with him, he told me that he was experienced with long-term SR and he wanted to know me and have a connection. His pics were good, and he was single on his SA profile. During the M&G we talked at the bar, I was expecting going to a table and having lunch together, but it did not happen. He was WAY shorter than I expected and he tells me he had a wife. He wanted to go to a hotel after our M&G, which I was OK with since I was already there. Now, where things did not go right. This is our first date, and the guy already brings toys, asks me if I have ever had sex with a woman, tells me about a girl that he knows who likes to be a “girl’s first girl”, and talk about his last SB who became a dominatrix. That was too much for a first date and I did not move forward to a second one. I learned never to go from a M&G directly to a hotel room.
There are much more things that happened during the time from me opening up my first profile back in May until last week, but the above were the most remarkable experiences I had so far. I do not think that a relationship will be stablished from the beginning, but it is possible to be developed over time with the right person. I am looking for connection and to be exclusive with the right guy, but I am not sure if that really exists. I have two M&G this week, and if it does not work out, I will consider myself done.
Top Comment: I am sorry you have had such a negative experience. There is a process that everyone (SD and SB) should follow - and for good reason. Chat and get to know them in a very 'above board' on the chat on SA. Then take the chat Off of the SA site NOTE: SA has scanning software and they DO monitor ALL CHATTING. If anyone mentions certain things - then the SB (the person with the account that is NOT paying $$$ per month) will be banned. So do not mention allowance, PPM, or anything related to payment. Once you chat off the app and get to know each other - then schedule a Platonic and unpaid Meet & Greet. This is KEY - do NOT skip this step. Johns will want to move to immediate gratification and will talk about a hotel after the coffee - or will want to get a drink AT a hotel - that is a HUGE RED FLAG Escorts will want pretty much the same thing - they will want to meet up and get paid - then move on to their next customer. Rinsers will want to be paid for the Meet & Greet The Meet & Greet is very important to find out if you have any chemistry. Talk about what you like, your hobbies, your passions, your interests, what you like to do on dates - and ask these same questions of your partner. This should be a Conversation where you both get to know each other. Platonic Dates - 0-3 - these are unpaid as well - though the SD may provide some gifts. Rinsers and Escorts will want to get paid for these Johns will want to go to a hotel as the next meeting. It is usually not a great idea - but everything depends on the Meet & Greet - if you have real chemistry and Sparks are Flying - the do what you want! ;-) Escorts will want to meet up for a transaction The "I'm too cool to pay for it" bros will think that they have now provided enough for you to want to get together and they will 'take care of you' (no they will NOT!) Wannabees will give you a lot of Buzz (BS) about how they will take great care of you (always in some vague future). A proper SD will be raising the question of the allowance during the M&G or the dinner. If not, then the SB is certainly free to do so. "So how do you normally handle Allowance?" Once you have details very clearly laid out - then you can move to an intimate date and have fun and Sugar flows in both directions. The responsible SD will always pay as soon as you are at the location for the intimacy - this can be at a hotel, or the location that either of you have (this all depends on how things are going - if there is a lot of trust already present - then it can be someplace owned by the SD or the SB) - but if you are an SB - LET SOMEONE KNOW WHERE YOU WILL BE - and have them Check On you! (not a bad idea for the SD either!) Always be careful. Genuine SDs and SBs are not in a hurry. They also are not wanting to dawdle. If intimacy is not planned or at least discussed after 1-2 dates - this should be discussed. If allowance is wanted before the intimacy - then this is a flag for a potential rinser. If intimacy is wanted and no conversation about Allowance has taken place - this is a Red Flag for the SB. Get very clear about what is wanted in the Sugar Relationship. How often will you want to meet? How much Allowance? (Usually paid as a PPM initially) - will there be a goal for exclusivity? What are the 'personal likes and dislikes' (the old Birds & Bees talk) - one of the nice things about the Bowl is that is quite acceptable to have very specific conversations about intimate things that in a Vanilla relationship would be 'unromantic' and weird. Protection - use it! Do not engage in unsafe sex for at least a few intimate dates (all depends on connection and comfort). STD/STI Testing and sharing of results is common. You should also be getting a feel for how this person is, what they are like, and are they trust worthy. Pressure: If anyone ever feels pressured about anything - RUN FORREST RUN!!! If it is minor, it can be discussed, but consider that this is likely the 'best behavior' you can expect from your partner - as this is during the 'honeymoon' and getting to know you phase. Sociopaths are very convincing - and they can seem like 'nice people' when they are anything but. Try not to be paranoid - and do always listen for internal inconsistency in their statements. TRUST YOUR INTUITION! If something feels 'off' - then increase the rigor of the safety protocols or Move On! Or slow down the action. A true SD will understand, and will ask what is required to increase the feelings of safety. They will also not expect to be paying an allowance. ("I don't feel safe - but I always feel much safer with money for the first 50 platonic dates!!" said the Rinser) This should get things started onto a successful experience in the Bowl!
I'm gonna say it, I think seeking is actually better today
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Whelp I was finally tempted to take a dip back in the bowl after a very long and successful 3 year SR. In the meantime I had been lightly keeping an eye on this forum for entertainment purposes and have seen all the "everything is bad" posts.
Honestly, I don't know what y'all are complaining about. My experience getting back on Seeking was that it's much improved from back in 2022.
- Yes the number of SBs are fewer and new SB posts seem more infrequent, but this is balanced against WAY fewer scammers and the quality of SB profiles are much better, with usually very good quality photos and face shots.
- As an SD, I didn't have to post a face shot if I paid for premium, which you obviously should do anyway
- The interface is cleaner, works faster. Messaging/hiding/uploading all worked.
- It made my profile not searchable because none of my public photos qualified for the Primary, but that's fine, I don't want to be searchable anyway.
- Platonics and online profiles are easily filtered out or hidden, and I didn't feel there were that many more of them than before.
I started in the bowl to save time, and I gotta say at least for the new york area, this is a huge improvement to before when Seeking was overflowing with scammers and blurry, no face profiles.
And because I love stats: in 1 week, of the 17 messages I sent out, I had a 76%!!! (13) reply rate, and 47% (8) led to M&Gs being scheduled, and I'm very excited for almost all of them. This is a way higher rate I've had on any other platform and method and honestly a bit unintended.
Top Comment: I have to agree lol. I have no trouble finding good men. You just have to vet and be very particular on who you choose to give your time to. I have a wonderful SD in NYC (we are not exclusive bc he is hot af, 40 and recently divorced so he deserves to sow his seeds lol). And another flying in from SFO for the weekend after our first m&g went well last week. Going for dinner tn. If you’re hot, smart, don’t entertain idiots, and know how to sniff out a moron or a scammer you’re fine. SDs should have this built in if they’re successful business men. SBs have to turn off desperation mode. Be particular. Know your worth (meaning look in the mirror and be very honest about what you think an appropriate allowance etc is. If you are not in the top 5% of women you see walking around every day in your city, the likelihood of you pulling high allowance numbers are small.) and be strict on what you want and be very giving in what you can realistically provide.
Seeking is turning into a vanilla dating site
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I recently received a message on Seeking from a guy saying he wants a long-term relationship that could eventually lead to marriage. Mind you, he didn’t mention anything about having a sugar baby or any type of arrangement. This caught me off guard. It seems like Seeking is shifting away from its original purpose of connecting sugar babies and sugar daddies and is starting to resemble sites like Match.com. I think there’s a need for new platforms that stay true to the sugar relationship dynamic, as sites like Seeking and Sugar Daddy Meet appear to be losing their focus.... Thoughts??
Top Comment: You can search this sub for more information but seeking has been moving away from being an explicit sugar site for about 3 years or so. You risk an account ban if you even say the word 'PPM' or 'sugar'. I preemptively block POTs who missed the memo and send stuff like that on seeking because I don't want my own account banned. Look up seeking's press releases over the past few years and be aware of FOSTA-SESTA
My Honest Review of Seeking.com (India)
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I had been using Seeking.com for over two years. I joined on October 31, 2023, and everything seemed fine for a long time. I understood the platform’s guidelines very well and always followed them. I never solicited or engaged in anything against their policies. I was genuinely looking for meaningful connections and even made a few good arrangements.
However, on February 21, 2025, at 9:43 AM, I received an email stating that my account had been permanently deleted. There was no warning, no explanation—just an abrupt termination of my profile. Since I was a long-time member who had verified my passport, live selfie, and social media accounts, this decision made no sense to me.
When I contacted Seeking’s support team, they told me I could create a new account with a different email and password. I followed their instructions, but every new account I created was immediately suspended and deleted. Eventually, they told me that my new accounts were also permanently banned.
I don’t understand why this happened. I was a genuine member, but they still treated me unfairly. I’ve seen this happening to other members in India as well. It seems like Seeking is banning legitimate users without reason, while still keeping their subscription money. If you’re in India and using Seeking, I’d advise you not to renew your premium membership—because even genuine users are getting banned without cause.
Seeking.com’s customer service is unresponsive, and they don’t provide clear explanations. They have our biometric data but still take such unfair actions. I wanted to share my experience and hear from others in India. Have you faced similar issues with Seeking? Let’s discuss.
Top Comment: This is just how Seeking do. Just one more facet of the contempt with which they treat their customers; maybe a side effect of being the only game in town. But unfortunately, this is a very common story. Seeking just bans you, support won't give an explanation, and that's that.